Opinion page by Duane Alan Hahn.
All of the ideas on this page are ‘original’ ideas by me that I've had over the years since I was a kid. Although these are my original words (I didn't copy them from somewhere else), I have been influenced by movies, TV, and books. Many of these ideas are also universal, so I'm sure at least a few of them have been discussed before.
Most of these ideas are non-scientific and a lot of wishful thinking. Some are like a caveman looking into the future and trying to describe what he saw without knowing how or why the inventions worked. Remember, these are not scientific patent applications, they're fuzzy ideas and random thoughts, so try not to get your panties in a bunch.
I've had this idea since the 1980s. Instead of using a damp rag and a dry rag, sometimes I put the brush on the end of our old Electrolux vacuum cleaner hose and suck up dust. It works to get up most of the dust, but dealing with the hose and heavy vacuum cleaner is kind of like wresting an angry bagpipe. And the air that blows out of the thing is dirty; you don't want to be breathing that in or having dust land back down on whatever you already dusted.
A small vacuum duster with an air cleaning filter system inside would make dusting a lot easier. It would be fairly lightweight, as small as possible, have a telescoping wand, and hopefully a brush on the end that can fold in on itself for self cleaning. If that type of brush isn't possible yet, then a removable brush that you can manually clean off with the vacuum duster.
I read that clouds build up negative charges and that causes negative charges in the ground to be forced away, leaving the ground with a positive charge. This creates the possibility for a lightning strike.
I would like to know if it's possible to create a grid of outdoor negative ion generators that would keep an area negatively charged at all times. It could be used almost anywhere people gather outdoors. People could use the grids for professional or children's sports, weddings, family gatherings, or in their own yards for constant protection.
If an Anti-Lightning Grid would work, it might only work about 90% of the time, because I also read that 10% of all lightning is positively charged.
This would be a silent electric rechargeable laser mower that uses a frequency which will cut grass but will not damage most clothing and will not harm users if they slip and pull the mower onto themselves in some way. It doesn't seem like an impossible idea since we have lasers that can cut you in half and other lasers we can safely use as pointers. Why can't lasers cut from the side? It worked in Star Wars and movies are never wrong. But of course, since it can't be made today, it never could in the future because technology never improves and nothing ever changes.
There would be many benefits if a mower like this can be made:
No losing body parts in a freak accident.
No flying debris which can break windows and put out eyes.
No noise which means that you can mow anytime you want, night or day.
No smelly gas and oil fumes.
No hard pushing and struggling, the mower will slice through the grass like a hot knife through butter.
This technology would be great for push mowers and robotic mowers. Riding lawnmowers would still be noisy though unless someone invents a good silent electric one.
I'm sure that this mower will be given a goofy name like 'LaserMo' if someone actually makes it. But, who cares what the name is as long as we all get a chance to buy it.
The next wave after this may be a pop-up underground system that can do an entire yard in a few seconds.
You've probably seen how filthy checkout conveyor belts are at grocery stores and super stores, no matter how many times cashiers clean them. The conveyor belts usually have patches of water and blood and random globs of goop of all kinds that you do not want your groceries anywhere near. There are also "super stores" that sell non-food items and groceries and you do not want to set your new electronic gadget in a puddle of blood.
The answer to the problem is a self-cleaning conveyor belt. When the belt goes back under, it would run through a cleaning solution and a quiet air dryer of some type would finish the job. A conveyor belt that was always clean, dry, and germ-free, might be expensive to install, but it would be worth it in the long run since customer satisfaction would increase. If the belt is made out of the right material and the self-cleaner was designed with common sense, it would probably only require maintenance once a day. If some genius figures out how to clean the belt without liquid, then it would require even less maintenance.
It would be very nice if some car company designs a car one of these days that has a built-in Grocery Gurney. The gurney would look different than an ambulance gurney and would have 4 sides. You load up your groceries into the gurney at the grocery store and instead of unloading all of the groceries the hard way when you get home, you just unlatch the Grocery Gurney, pull it out, the wheels pop out similar to the way an ambulance gurney does and you roll it into your house. No walking back and forth a million times carrying in heavy grocery bags. Just bring all of your groceries in at one time, put them away, then return your Grocery Gurney to the back of your car and you're all done.
First, I'd like to know if it's possible to create a 'Sound Shield' using inaudible sound waves. If that's possible, I would like to see a vehicle covered with tiny, almost microscopic, computer controlled sound generators. The entire vehicle, including the windows would be covered. The strength of the Sound Shield could be automatically adjusted by computer, plus the operator of the vehicle could turn it on or off.
The Sound Shield might be used to protect against collisions, theft, or maybe even bullets.
If someone tried to touch the outside of the vehicle in low-power theft protection mode, it might feel like the bouncy strong wind you feel when you stick your hand out of the window of a fast moving car.
The higher powered modes would be used mainly for driving. The computer controlled collision detection wouldn't only protect you from crashes. By automatically adjusting the strength and length of the Sound Shield in all directions, it would keep your vehicle from flipping over during a collision or when driving around a sharp curve.
Microscopic sponges could be one of the best soundproofing materials ever invented. They could be used in many different ways:
Fireproof micro-sponges could be injected into walls instead of normal insulation.
They could be applied to both sides of special curtains for use in homes, hospitals, or businesses.
Radio stations use acoustic foam panels to absorb echo, but micro-sponge panels could absorb echo and block sound at the same time.
Whether it's an upright, or a monster that you drag behind you, the part of the vacuum cleaner that actually touches the floor and does the 'sweeping' should have some kind of dry sanitizer in it.
I don't really care what is used, as long as it works and isn't bad for you. It could be a strong ultraviolet light or some type of laser beam that won't hurt carpets and bare floors but kills germs and dust mites. It could even be a continuous stream of ozone but it wouldn't be harmful because the vacuum would be designed to suck the ozone back up and neutralize it. I don't know how long it takes ozone to kill germs, so it might not work.
It would be great to sanitize as you 'clean' because just vacuuming your carpet isn't really cleaning it. Many people think that running the average vacuum cleaner across the carpet a few times makes it safe for babies and children to play on. Wise people know that isn't true, but who has time to steam clean the carpet every day?
I've had an idea since the mid 1990s of a 6-foot tall rounded cage at least 44 inches around that you would hang a bird feeder in the middle of or just have the feeder pole-mounted so it wouldn't sway in the wind. The ideal would be to have a 12 port Wildbills Electronic BirdFeeder in there, but you could use any feeder you wanted. The cage would be made of some type of metal or aluminum and the squares that make up the cage would be small enough for friendly birds to fit though, but large birds that swoop down to attack the smaller birds wouldn't be able to get to them as easily as they could if the feeder was unprotected.
The top two or three feet of the cage would be covered with some type of outdoor waterproof material to help keep rain off of the birds and feeder and it would also provide shade, depending on the angle of the sun. It would also have a tall door so you could reach inside for refilling and cleaning duties. You could also have one of these cages around a bird bath.
Any channel that is worth watching should have reliable extended data and besides displaying the name of a TV show and the channel, each show should have its own code. When you tell your DVR (or whatever you use) to record a certain show at a certain time, it should also know the code for that show since it will be hidden in the guide information. Your DVR should only record when it reads the correct code for that show. If your show is 20 minutes late, it should start recording that show 20 minutes late and you won't miss a thing.
It may not be possible yet, but it should be soon. If every product in department stores and grocery stores can have a unique bar code, then every TV show should be able to have a unique code too. Each episode wouldn't need a unique code, just the series itself.
And to be clear, the user would not have to type in a code or even see a code. The codes will just be included in the guide information for your DVR to read. Then when your DVR reads that code coming from the extended data within a 12 hour buffer zone after the appointed time for recording, the show will be recorded and you will never miss another show even if that show gets put off until 2am because of local sports.
Instead of using dangerous fuel burning heaters or energy wasting electric heaters, I hope someone develops a device that generates heat safely with chemical reactions.
The heating device would have many twin chambers, each filled with a combination of two or more chemicals. After activating the heating device, the chemicals would react with each other and start to generate heat in the initial chambers. After a certain temperature is attained in a chamber, two things would happen. First, its twin chamber is activated and second, the chemicals in the initial chamber would lose their attraction to each other and return to their original state. When the temperature of a chamber falls below a certain level, the chemicals would repeat the process. This would keep a pair of chambers heating and cooling alternately for as long as the chemicals can retain their structure.
Hopefully, a chemical heating device containing many twin chambers would give off enough heat to keep a small room warm for many months or even years.
A chemical heating device would be great for things like cold bathrooms, camping trips, or power outages. It would also be safer and cheaper to use. Chemical heating devices might also be cheap enough to be given to the poor and homeless during the winter which would help save lives.
Let's assume it's true that humans exist after death without their bodies and a good number of them become earthbound and just hang around, haunting an area. Many people report that these ghosts create cold spots. It can become so cold that you can see your own breath. Some ghost hunters claim that spirits can feed on the power contained in batteries and if that's true, maybe we can find out which type of battery is easier for ghosts to drain (which battery they think is more delicious).
Once the best battery has been found, a new type of air conditioner that uses less energy can be produced that wouldn't need to be placed in a window. It would be a fairly small box that you plug into an outlet. It would contain a battery that is always recharging and a fan hooked up to a digital thermostat. The user could select the temperature using buttons on the front or with a remote control. The air conditioner would sense the temperature in the room and automatically control the fan speed.
People would sign a contract before death, agreeing to 'haunt' an air conditioning unit for a certain amount of time. The ghost can feed on the battery and the owner of the air conditioning unit will benefit from the natural cold that the ghost produces. Both sides get what they want and it would save a lot of energy and significantly decrease electric bills during the summer.
The Good and the Bad
Negative ions are good for us. You might want to avoid positive ion generators and ozone generators. Whenever I need a new air cleaner (with negative ion generator), I buy it from surroundair.com. A plain old air cleaner is better than nothing, but one that produces negative ions makes the air in a room fresher and easier to breathe. It also helps to brighten my mood.
Never litter. If you can't find a trash can, take it home and throw it away there.
Hydrofracking is bad for you, your family, your friends, and the environment.
Unfermented soy is bad! “When she stopped eating soy, the mental problems went away.”
Wishful Thinking: Inventions Worth Inventing
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Use these ideas at your own risk. I am not responsible if you melt your face off or blow up the planet.
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